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The Dutch Stars can’t seem to behave like stars….

June 26th, 2009 | By: Jan | 22 Comments »

Another Nico Dijkshoorn column

It just doesn’t take off, the star behaviour of our football players. C Ronaldo does it with Paris Hilton. Or did. Which is something that can change within the hour with our Hilton. The walking glasses with titties used up men in the same speed as Henk Kesler makes mistakes. C Ronaldo is enjoying his holiday in America. You know enough then. To visit a nightclub during your holiday in Hollywood. That will never come good agan. C Ronaldo is basically a narcissist, who happens to be a good football player.

God, I long for guys like Ed de Goey or Jaap Stam. During the summer break, they go the camp site in Bakkum. Like every year. Ed de Goey had his spot on the camp site conveniently next to the toilets. He could tell who was on the toilet by the way the toilet flushed. He liked that. That’s how our players are. No grandeur whatsoever. Our players would ask the nightclub bouncer to turn the light on so they can actually see their girlfriends.

Jaap Stam used his summer break to make cheese. Gregoor van Dijk, FC Utrecht skipper, has a kids’ farm in Meppel. With goats and horses. Our football players can’t do it. They don’t have that passion, that over-the-topness. Ruud Gullit did have the charisma of a rock star, but he couldn’t be dragged away from Nelson Mandela. A guy in a frock. You could see the panick in Mandela’s eyes, whenever Ruud Gullit rocked up. He would have stayed on Robben Island if he’d known this.

Our players prefer to golf. That is the Dutch way of going out of your mind. Six hours of strolling in nature with a jumper on your shoulders. Walking in a checkered pants. Willem van Hanegem can even recognize 15 different birds. He can spot a cross-eyed woodpecker from 1300 meters!

Wesley Sneijder does try hard, but it just doesn’t work. Compared to C Ronaldo it’s even poor. Ronaldo is filmed with a 900 euro shirt around his horny chest when he is using the phone in Paris Hilton’s appartment. And we can only guess what Paris is doing. Probably finetuning the camera to film the opening crosspass through the middle. We’ll probably see it next week on YouTube, that spasm Portuguese male porn star head with the blonde bitch crawling under him.

No, let’s take Wesley. That is typically Dutch and thus lame. He was spotted with Yolanthe in the vip-box at a Toppers gig. I doesn’t get any worse than this. On Yolanthe’s shoulders, bitterball in his mouth, singing along to another jerk-off song by Gordon!

But, I do think we need to cherish that attitude. That’s where we are strong, scarily old-fashioned and “normal”. Look at Royston Drenthe. He’d lost the plot for at least half a year. There he was, in his white marble bathroom overlooking the 39 guest rooms in his home. It was pathetic, Royston’s forced superstardom. He did get into a spectacular car accident, but again – typically Dutch – he rammed a police car. A real superstar like Wayne Rooney would park his Ferrari into some restaurant, skidding into the kitchen. Opening his window and ordering a piece of fuckin’ salmon. Royston tried hard, but returned to the normal people. An ordinary player from Rotterdam dreams of a game of football on some field, with two coats as goal posts.

We simply can’t do it. Rinus Israel worked as a coach in Romania and sat in his hotel room staring at the picture of his wife, for months. Johan Cruyff got fired in Barcelona and walked his dog! Leo Beenhakker has a second job in snackbar the Fries Generation and moves on to help some third world country club, in this case Feyenoord.

I hated that family business at the EC. Dirk Kuyt and Edwin van der Sar with their kids on their arms. That’s what you do when you scored your first goal after 15 years of amateur football! Then you’re the hero for a day. Walking into the cantine with wet hair, asking your daughter how she thought dad played today. And then buying six euros worth of candy. You go home drunk, you hit your wife and you fall through the glass coffee table demonstrating how you scored that goal.

It seemed to be Oranje’s Little House on the Prairie. The party congress of the Christen Unie. It didn’t have anything to do with top football.

But, in the run up to the next WC, I think that’s our strength, really. A tremendous sacharine and off-putting adoration for your family. Totally confusing the opponent with our typically Dutch values. You know, waiting until the dressboys of Portugal come onto the pitch and doing a French Fondue on the field. And arguing about who get’s what color stick. I’m telling you, you’ll be 3-0 up against types like Cristiano Ronaldo.

Tags: C Ronaldo, Dijkshoorn, Group C, Kuyt, PAris Hilton, Sneijder

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Comments

By Bruce | June 27th, 2009 at 2:39 am

What a great article! Proud to be a down-to-earth Dutchman!

Posted from Canada

By goose | June 27th, 2009 at 2:50 am

haha, very funny! loved the Gullit – Mandele part..
and always nice to give Ronnie a slappin

Posted from Netherlands

By ferenc | June 27th, 2009 at 3:14 am

nice article! at the beginning of his coaching career at oranje marco said that he didn’t need any superstar like kluivert,seedorf etc. actually patrick kluivert loved nightlife etc. he was a little bit like “real superstars.” i don’t like c. ronaldo but on the other hand he had affairs with beautiful girls (especially nereida gaillardo).

Posted from Hungary

By finnster01 | June 27th, 2009 at 4:59 am

What the heck is up with Eredivisie? They can’t even get a schedule going?

I suspect this another example of Henk Kesler promising much more than he can deliver.

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/columns/story?id=656698&sec=europe&root=europe&cc=5901

By finnster01 | June 27th, 2009 at 6:56 am

@Jan, great article by the way. I am still laughing.

It actually reminds me of a business trip I made to Holland a good few years back. I had been there many times before on vacation and football watching, but this was the first time I actually went there on business.

It was a visit to the headquarters of a bank called NIB Capital outside Hague. It was a fairly long cab ride from the airport on a beautiful summer day, through fields and fields, the usual tall blondes on bicycles cruisng by, etc. We spent all day there in meetings.

Now what I remember the most is the canteen. They had a big free canteen downstairs where they took us for lunch. It was pretty nice, a couple of hot meals to choose from, a buffee build-your-own-sandwich style with a great selection of cold cuts etc. But the thing that totally blew me away was when I was looking for something to drink, the only think I could find was what looked like the world’s largest milk dispenser which was built like a draft beer dispenser. They had about 6 or 7 different types of milk in there on tap (fat free, skimmed, 1%, 2%, sour milk, God knows what milk etc). I couldn’t stop laughing. I had never seen such a device before.

Now wonder why the Dutch women are all 6 ft 1 and change if this is their standard eats.

By goose | June 27th, 2009 at 8:41 am

@finn ; small world ; my little brother works at NIBC

Posted from Netherlands

By Alex | June 27th, 2009 at 9:34 am

Not by far are all dutch women 6ft1 , cause i’ve seen some some midgets and cows. I hardly come across tall blondes myself, and I live here.

Read the news on Bouma, it would be a real shame i he was forced to quit.

BTW Huntelaar won’t have any problems with finding a new club. AC Milan, Manchester United and Juventus seem to be the most interested with about 20 clubs following behind.
Drenthe said he didn’t talk to Fiorentina, and the deal isn’t completed. It seems like it’ll still coming through though.

Posted from Netherlands

By bobotoh | June 27th, 2009 at 9:32 pm

It is good for Huntelaar to play in big clubs, such as Milan, MU, Juventus. I am sure that Milan, MU, or Inter (if Ibra leaves) will look for a new striker. Milan is currently after Adebayor.

Posted from Indonesia

By Mario | June 27th, 2009 at 10:45 pm

Well, actually I don´t care how the players behave off the fied. I´d rather see them winning cups and trophies and lately our Oranje boys have been far from the goal.

By alaa | June 28th, 2009 at 1:43 am

what about we compare our team now to the 1998-2000 team????? I keep convincing myself that our team now is great, but math is telling me no.

(1998) (2009)

van der sar steklenburg
reizeger heitinga
f.de boer mathijsen
stam oijer
van bronckhorst numan
wim jong van bommel
edgar davids de jong
ronald de boer sneijder
overmars robben
bergkamp van persie
kluivert huntelaar(lately it is kuyt)

the 1998 is better in every single position, the only position that might be of the same level is robben vs overmars, robben might be close to overmars but overmars was not injury prone like robben so even this one is leaning toward the 1998 group. the others?? do you see what defensive players we had????? f.deboer a barcelona player that year, stam a milan player and lazio before. now it is oijer. defensive midfielder was davids who was considered the best in the world in his position that year. second striker was bergkamp and you know what genius he was.

I am depressed when i remember what group we had in 1998 and 2000 and still managed to throw both titles away. How sad, and then we keep hoping this less quality team will win next year, i am usually optimistic but now i dont see it.

sorry i am that depressed because few minutes ago i was watching the 1998 semi against brasil and then the semi against italy in 2000, that bastard van der sar was an idiot with penalty kicks if he was as good as now we would be talking about netherlands maybe that have won one world cup in 1998 and two euros in 1988 and 2000!!!!

f… meeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

By ferenc | June 28th, 2009 at 3:05 am

we had a nice bench in 98/200 as well: seedorf,cocu,van hoijdonk,zenden,van bronckhorst,hasselbaink etc. i’d say van bommel is as good as wim jonk was but in the other positions the 98/2000 team were better. and the guys had more characters,to be honest: for me they were more sympathetic than our current team (stam,davids,seedorf,kluivert,cocu,overmars,bergkamp,van hoijdonk…)

Posted from Hungary

By Alex | June 28th, 2009 at 3:10 am

Don’t forget that players like V.d.Wiel, De Jong, V.Persie, Huntelaar, Robben, Sneijder have the potential to become the best in their position, V.d.Sar, at that time, was not considered as the world class keeper we all see him as, and Heitinga, Marcellis, Maduro and even Vlaar, if he can return to his top form are possible top class players.

First of all, Mathijsen, Boulahrouz, Bouma are more than decent defenders.
Maduro, already plays for Valencia, wich is a topclub, and with Albiol gone, he may well establish himself as our next biggest, and actually widely respected defender next season. Boulahrouz was well on his way when he went from HSV to Chelsea, but after an impressive start things didn’t go his way, the pressure went on and he was slaughtered by press and benched, his time at Chelsea pretty much ruined his reputation and career. While Maduro has had the opportunity of adjusting and developing slow and steady at Valencia.
Heitinga is still at Atletico and he can still improve, either as RB or CB
Braafheid will be with Bayern Munchen where he could develop into our new regular LB.
Now a lot of these players are already good, and known, but they can make the final step very soon, some might even make it next season. Besides, you don’t need reputations and status to win a world cup, and by actually perfoming well on the WC, despite winning or losing, our players international status will be boosted.

Posted from Netherlands

By Alex | June 28th, 2009 at 3:17 am

and more character, i doubt it. widely known players that have retired always get viewed differently than those still playing. Kluivert was a C.Ronaldo wannabee, Davids pitbull, De Jong is close, V.Bommel has just as much character as Cocu had, although Schaars does remind me more of Cocu, V.Persie and Robben are the typical artists like Bergkamp and Overmars were, V.Hooijdonk wasn’t that much of a great guy, he still isn’t, his best quality was kicks. Seedorf was just as much as a prima donna as Sneijder is. I would say the only character we lack compared to the 1998 team is that of a ruthless central defender, a real man marker.I’m hoping we’ll see one emerge quite soon.

Posted from Netherlands

By Alex | June 28th, 2009 at 3:23 am

http://goal.com/en/news/9/england/2009/06/28/1350930/i-want-to-be-the-best-in-the-world-at-arsenal-robin-van

how’s that for character

Posted from Netherlands

By ferenc | June 28th, 2009 at 3:56 am

when i speak about characters i miss davids’dreadlocks,kluivert’s attitude,stam’s face,cocu’s nose,reiziger’s mouth etc. the fact that the 98/2000 team were better doesn’t mean that the present team cannot win the wc. in 98/2000 some of our players were considered as best of the world in their positions: stam,davids,bergkamp and kluivert as well was one of the best strikers. this is not the same situation now however the team spirit is probably better and in big tournaments this is a very important (one of the most important) factor. italy didn’t win in 2006 because they were the best but because they had a rock solid mentality and discipline. in this sense our current team is stronger than the 98/2000. but if we compare the indiduals there is no doubt about our old boys’supremacy.

Posted from Hungary

By Jan | June 28th, 2009 at 4:06 am

I also think our game play in 1998 was more predictable. We had a typical striker, with OVermars a typical winger… They were tremendous, don’t get me wrong, but today we play more fluid football. We have playmakers/hard workers in the same players: Bommel, Sneijder, Schaars, Vaart, Kuyt…

We have players who can score and assist (Van Persie, Robben, Vaart)…

All in all, it’s the team and team tactics that make the total better than the individual players…

By Jeroen | June 28th, 2009 at 4:13 am

I agree completely with Ferenc. Yes, 1998 was a veritable dream team. And no one quite understands how they didn’t win. But most importantly, this team is way more of a team than that older team. Back in those days, there were always three of four groups within the team that stuck together (and this also lead to the infamous infighting). Here, everyone is friends with everyone. They celebrate with their families. etc. I think this team has just as much chance to win next year as our team did in ‘98, albeit they have different qualities than those guys. I do think Sneijder is better than R. de Boer btw. Totally different types of players, but I’d rather see Sneijder on the midfield than de Boer. We are one of the best teams in the world, and we have a chance at winning next year, plain and simple. The one thing we have always lacked is iron discipline, and I hope and think van Marwijk will instill some of that in our players from his experiences in Germany. He seems like a guy with a no bullshit attitude. I’ve already seen it in some of the matches, Robben coming back to defend etc etc. This would have never happened under van Basten. I have yet to hear of any conflict since VB left.

1998 was just proof that a group of world class stars is not enough to win a WC. You need team spirit and luck as well. We didn’t have either. Take a look at the teams Germany and Italy or Brazil has won the world cup with. You’ll notice plenty of players on each squad that were also just playing for mediocre teams. You only need a couple of world class players, and the rest just needs to do their job and carry the weight. That way, you also have a bit more clear hierarchy as to who’s the man and who’s not . Also helps.

Posted from Netherlands

By Mohamed | June 28th, 2009 at 4:37 am

@alaa, well, you just forgot VDV my favourite player :p
We all think players of 98 are more world class than our players now ..
But in the end .. They didnt win any trophies .. SHAME ! they didnt even qualify to the world cup !
What about comparing our team now with barca 2009 !
Valdes heitinga (no doubt)
puyol = boulahrouz ( if boula could gain his real performance .. He is as good as puyol )
pique .. Mathijsen , maduro , mercellis or donk ( dunno who is better ! )
toure = de jong
keita = bommel
schaars > bisquets
xavi & ineista > sneijder and vdv .. But still belive in our brilliant midfeilders
messi > robben ( but robben is also genius )
persie > henry
huntelaar > eto’o
end result : we are almost equal
be quite optimistic bro ..
We are going for gold !

By finnster01 | June 28th, 2009 at 5:06 am

Kaka is quoted in the Daily Star about who he thinks will be the biggest threats to Brazil in the WC2010:

”But I can say the most important national teams at the moment are Spain, Argentina, Italy, France and England.”…

Not a word about Oranje!

By Lerkot | June 28th, 2009 at 7:07 am

He’s a virgin. Who gives a f*ck about what he say.

By ferenc | June 28th, 2009 at 7:26 am

i don’t like the comparison barca versus oranje,but i think except valdes almost every single barca players in the optimal starting 11 (valdes – d.alves,puyol,pique(marquez),abidal – xavi,yaya,iniesta – messi,eto’o,henry) are better than oranje’s players. barca is the best team of the world,far better than any national team (including spain,oranje,brazil). i don’t want to go into details. oranje is a national team ,barca is a club. 2 totally different concept.

Posted from Hungary

By Alex | June 28th, 2009 at 9:57 am

Kaka is just as ignorent as the rest of the world, Italy sucks, France even struggled 2 times against Lithuania, Argentina doesn’t convince at all. England, Spain doing best now. Being the first team to qualify in europe should have sent a message though.

Posted from Netherlands

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