Stam: “I’m disappointed in myself… I hate losing.”

Jaap Stam announced his immediate retirement from professional football yesterday. “I can’t do it anymore, mentally and physically. I just miss the strength.”

In Amsterdam, this didn’t come as a surprise. Stam wanted to stop already last summer, but the Ajax management convinced Stam to try it another season. But, he should have listened to his inner feelings, because this is where the buck stops. The Eredivisie strikers have already planned a party, because life will be much easier on the Dutch pitches without Stam.

After having explained his decision, all present reporters spontaneously rose from their chairs to applaude the rugged defender. A unique moment. Reporters, and particularly Dutch ones, never applaud players or coaches after a press-conference. But, it was too hard to neglect the respect for the 35 year old defender, who always stayed truthful to his roots.

Stam was a nightmare for every striker and a dream for every coach. Robust, fearless, ice-cold and mentally and physically strong. There weren’t a lot of better defenders in the last ten years.

Even Sir Alex Ferguson, coach of Manchester United, recently stated that he regretted selling Stam to Lazio Roma. They knew this already in Eindhoven and Milan. There is none better.

Even Marco van Basten thought so, who tried to lure the big man from Kampen back into Oranje. But to no avail. He promised his family to spend more time with them. And if Stam makes a promise, he doesn’t break it.

Stam didn’t like losing and yesterday it was tough for him to admit that – according to him – now he had. “At the end of the season, my body gave me signals that it was over. I had little pains all over the place. But in summer, things went better and I decided to give in to Ajax’ pleads. But at the start of the season, it became worse.”

Last week, Stam had a period of contemplation. His father passed away and Stam used that emotional and confronting time to contemplate his own life. “I wanted to end the season with Ajax, but it didn’t work. I just didn’t have the strength anymore. I was more busy with myself than with my opponents. That’s when you know you’re time has come. I am pretty disappointed with myself about that. But fun and self-motivation are key and once that’s not there, you’ve got to read the signs.”

At Ajax they knew about his struggle. Martin van Geel: “You know, we’re just proud that we had him here. Not just because of his skills but also because of his personality and mentality. After every training, Jaap would spend 30 minutes alone in the dressing rooms working his abs. Everybody looked at it and thought…hmmm…. A week later, the whole group was doing it. Giving you’re everything was key for Jaap. We are very sad we have to let him go.”

Stam won championships, national cups, the Champions League and the World Cup for teams. He play 67 international games, three EC’s and a WC. But he doesn’t want to reflect upon those days. “I just want to be left alone for a while. And then I’ll see what crosses my path. How to describe my career in one sentence? I need one word: beautiful. And how I want people to remember me? That’s not important. I did what I had to do. Period. Players with more skills than me didn’t make it, I did it on will power. In particular in the beginning of my career there were always doubters. I always had to prove myself. But now, I fail the strength.”