Dijkshoorn: women’s football and Sneijder :-)

I love this guy …

Nico Dijkshoorn column in VI…

“There’s something wrong. I suddenly have to like womens football. That takes some effort. Not that long ago you went to see women play football to have a laugh. It’s something like synchronicity swimming.

I can’t take that serious either. Women who put a peg on their nose and dive into the bath on the music of some German composer and who then try to come up feet first at exactly the same moment.

That’s how I look at womens football. As a parody on the real sport: men’s football. Show me a group of people playing football at a distance and I can tell you immediately whether they’re male or female.

And it has to do with heading the ball. Women don’t like to head the ball. Against England, in the semi finals, that’s where we lost the game. Captain Daphne Koster did jump, but too late and with reluctance. She was scared the ball would hit her head. So, she glided under the ball and the number 10 of England did havw the guts to head the ball.

I don’t like watching my fave sports ever being played by people with a limitation. They can’t head the ball, they turn like adolescents who dislike gym at school and they are to humble and sweet.

It’s like wheelchair basketball… It’s very hard to do, it’s admirable but it’s not basketball! It looks like it, but it’s basketball in a chair. And after 15 minutes, the creaking of the wheels drive you crazy…

And now the Dutch football experts tell me that they enjoyed it so much. Women’s football, it’s unspoiled and pure and friendly.

“Please, after you! I want you to score, really! You first.”

Hugo Borst had enjoyed himself so much. If he beloved Sparta would play like this every week, they will end up with the exact same amount of fans in the stands as the women do: not more than hundred.

Once the women have an annoying midfielder like Sneijder or a Nigel de Jong with breasts, that’s when I will start to watch it.

Wesley Sneijder. There’s something the matter with him. He is supposedly a bit spoiled. And we can’t have that. Well, that’s what a lot of people think. The same people who keep on telling us anecdotes on Van Hanegem, Cruyff and Davids. There are dozens of books on Johan in the library. And everyone knows how he abandoned the team many times. Or how Van Hanegem refused to go to the WC 1978 because Happel wouldn’t promise him a starting position. Or how Davids insulted Hiddink. Bad, bad, bad.

We all loved it! We have forgiven them all. Because they were special. Brilliant. They were real. Pure football players. And there’s not a lot around like them anymore. But at the same time we like Sneijder to be a Catholic choirboy.

It’s so Dutch. If you do normal, you’re doing crazy enough already. There’s too many ego’s in Oranje, people say. Volleyball coach Ton Boot even said he felt Sneijder should be kicked out of Oranje because Sneijder is only interested in Sneijder. That shouldn’t be allowed…

Ton Boot thinks we should send the boy scouts to South Africa. And between games, the players really want to go into the townships to improve the sanitary conditions. Arjen Robben will fix the toilets, Ooijer and Huntelaar will do the dishes and Van der Vaart is digging trenches for the sewerage.

I love Sneijder. I highly enjoy him. He struggles and fights and I love watching that. I see drama. Girlfriends who are too gorgeous for him. Tacky swim suits. Forced challenges. Blind hatred towards Real Madrid and a power struggle with Van Persie. Tantrums. Oh, I forgot…and brilliant football too. Goals like works of art. Sneijder is building the profile already for rows of books we will all buy in 15 years time.

I don’t care, as far as I am concerned Sneijder plays with a huge tattoo on his head. If he wants to carry Yolanthe on his back during games, fine. Because Sneijder, I know this, will shoot us into the WC finals in 2010 with a superb free kick. Mark my words.”